Relationship With Self: Loving Yourself

The relationship we have with ourselves is vital and the most important factor for the quality of the relationships that we will have with others.  To have a healthy relationship with the self is to have a healthy relationship with others.  It is essential to have a quality relationship with the self through self-love because learning to love the self first will enable us the freedom and the liberty to love and appreciate ourselves and others.  Ultimately, loving ourselves is the key that opens the door to loving and connecting with ourselves first and then connecting in love with others.

It is difficult to love and connect with others when we abandon ourselves emotionally.  Through developing self-awareness we discover how detrimental it is to be disconnected from ourselves emotionally and how this inhibits us from connecting and developing a deeper relationship with self and then with others.

To be a friend to ourselves is having the ability to sit quietly and to listen to the inner voice from within; this is our wise voice that is all knowing and is trying to tell us something, but we need to be  mindful of its presence so we can listen for its guidance.  To be in touch with our feelings and to sit quietly in solitude is the way that our inner voice communicates with us.  To be in touch and connected to ourselves is to be at one with ourselves emotionally.

Believing in ourselves and the power we have allows us to live each day to the fullest with love in our hearts.  We need to trust our feelings and emotions knowing that we are being divinely led.  It is through the acknowledgement of our feelings that we grow and live lives that are rich, meaningful and fulfilling.  Once we can accept ourselves exactly as we are, embracing all that we are, we can then be successful at loving, accepting and caring for both ourselves and for others who we are in relationship with.

The great news is we intuitively know, exactly, what to do.  We are our own experts.  Therefore, the wisest solution is to care for ourselves first with love and self-nurturing so we are then able to pass on what we have learned to others.  There are a variety of ways that we can love and nurture ourselves; this can be accomplished through acts of self-love, self-nurturing and self-soothing.  You might be asking yourself, what exactly do I mean by this?  When you think of self love, nurturing and soothing what comes to mind for you?  Some loving, nurturing and soothing things you can do for yourself are: take a hot bath, go for a walk, read a book, listen to favorite music, purchase yourself a special love blanket (green represents the heart chakra), talk with a friend, go for a swim, go for a hot tub, go for a steam room, spend time in nature, hold a favorite stuffed animal, spend time alone in solitude, treat yourself to something special, or whatever comes to mind for you.  I encourage you to create your own list of things that help you to self-soothe or to feel good about and more connected to yourself.

It is important to remember that whenever we run from our feelings it keeps us separate from ourselves, in bondage to ourselves, and because of this, separate from others as well.  We need to embrace and accept who we are, completely and allow ourselves the freedom to feel our feelings, remaining connected to ourselves and enjoying the company and relationship with ourselves so we can then be available to enjoy in relationship with others.  It is through self-love and the connection we have with ourselves and others that we will eventually be successful at achieving a liberated self.  In essence, it is through our connection with ourselves and others that our relationships are built upon.  If you are finding it difficult and challenging to develop relationships with others I would highly recommend that you first develop the relationship that you have with yourself first.   Why not make these moments in time about you?  Look to yourself first and all your relationships will have the opportunity to grow and to flourish.  Remember to love and nurture yourself often because you are worth the investment and you deserve it too. All your relationships will be better and more higher evolved all because you learned to love yourself.

You and your relationships are so worth the investment!

Debbie is kind hearted, empathetic and never judges. She is that guidance that helps navigate through the painful parts of your life. She’s strong in her convictions but is always open minded. Debbie makes me feel safe and secure. And with her, the path of life becomes clearer.

P.P. (Kamloops BC)

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